United We Stand-Divided We Fall

     

    Ali, Ameen, Rashid and Zahid were not just classmates, but they were like part of each other. They went to school together, helped each other in completing homework, share their food with each other and were always there for each other if any one of them get into any kind of problem. 

    Their teachers and other school children always used to admire their friendship and care for each other. After successfully completing their school they all managed to get into college studies together as well. Although, their studies were in different subjects but they love to hang around with each other whenever they got the chance. 

    Their families were also close to each other to keep them together, they were kind of incomplete without each other. They were inseparable. 

    As war broke out in their country and people started moving out of their land, leaving everything behind they were also pushed to leave their friends behind and migrate to another country to save their lives. This was very heart breaking for all of them. They insisted and begged their parents to stay back but its of no use. 

    All four of them decided to migrate together without informing their families so they should never be away from each other. They all packed their bags and decided to meet each other at a pre-selected spot. They all somehow managed to get away from their homes, without being noticed by their parents and reached at the place to meet their group. 

    They all planned to migrate and cross the border together. A boat arrived to pick them up, it was already full of people, it didn't seem safe to them but since, they had no other option to leave their country therefore, they all took this boat for departure. 

    Unfortunately, this boat sunk in the sea after struggling to survive for 2 hours. However, all four friends although seems drowning in deep waters, but they took each other's hands and managed to help each other to survive this accident. 

Example of Unity

    It seems a simple story, however it has a huge lesson for all those who keep fighting over their differences, without realizing that fighting on differences is of no use rather keep bringing them down in front of each other. 

    On the other hand if we focus on building our strength by promoting positivity, supporting each other to improve, develop and progress it will lead them towards excellence and nothing would stop them reaching the heights. 

    Nations today even in this age of technology, exemplary resources are still not focusing on building and improving their bi-lateral relations through trade, commerce, communication, agriculture, industrial and other sectors of mutual interest instead of fighting, going for war, killing innocent and helpless civilians is not going to bring them any benefit whatsoever. 

    Huge spending on buying weapons to kill human beings has never been the solution of any problem. Getting everything in this temporary worldly life is not the real purpose of human creation. Humanity needs peace and stability to survive, flourish and improve the lives of coming generations so they could breathe and live in a better world. 

    

International Women Day: The Integral Women

                 

 Women are integral part of life. Women in digital age have dynamic roles to play. They are no more confined to homes. Rather, they are serving as professionals and leaders today. Additionally, they are also performing as teachers, consultants, mentors, guides, inspirational leaders, philanthropists, and much more. 

                 However, women are still challenged by societal threats, biases, and discrimination in their very own homes and families. Hence, each women has to confront at some point in her life to overcome these challenges. Contrarily, there are very successful women around us as well, who have achieved their goals by believing in themselves, countering with all the societal biases, and strived to overcome the discriminatory norms in their culture.   

                Let's dive into the world of few women who are inspirational in their own ways. 

Woman As An Innovative Entrepreneur   

              Farah is a women entrepreneur now, but she started her journey to become one almost 15 years ago, when she was a home maker without having any knowledge about business. She was a very dedicated mother, a committed wife and above all a caring and loving daughter too. She was totally unaware about her hidden talents. However, she was a keen learner about new skills, and discovering new opportunities around her. 

              Farah was always interested in designing dresses, and enjoyed turning them into a very colorful well stitched dress as a finished product. She always prefer to stitch clothes of all her family members, friends and sometimes even for others who request her to do so on a small payment. One day an old friend of her from college visited her and told her about that she has turned her passion into a business venture. After hearing her story, Farah also got quite excited and discussed her business plan with her husband. He equally got excited and agreed to fully support her idea. Finally, after going through all the processes she acquired a small space for a stitching unit (factory) and hired 10 women to start her own stitching factory. Today, she is a successful owner and CEO of her company and design clothes for all age groups of women. 

 Women As A Dedicated Teacher and Student

            Sara loved teaching since her childhood, because she was inspired by one of her teacher at her school. When Sara grew up she planned to go into higher education to acquire her PhD in education. Although, her home circumstances were not in favor of pursuing an expensive higher education. Therefore, she started saving money from her existing teaching job to pay for her tuition at the university. Her family was not supporting her decision due their financial constraints and other important family priorities, like children's education etc. 

           She wrote a letter to university authorities about her interest in pursuing her higher education studies, and that she is unable to afford it.  After almost two weeks she received a letter from the university that she has been approved for a scholarship to cover her tuition fees along with a stipend to cover her all study related expenses. This was great news for Sara and after her hard work she eventually completed her PhD studies. 

Women As A Committed Home Maker

Kiran is happily married, she has 3 children to look after, a husband, her mother in law and her own parents too. She lives in small suburban town. Her husband owns a small grocery store and sells everyday items to all close by people. Although, the town is quite small, but everyone knows each other well and its a closely knit kind of a family town for everyone. 

         Kiran is mainly committed to her family and loves to take care of her elders too. Her own parents are always ready to support her too, but her mother in law is quite old and partially disabled to take care of her own basic needs, therefore Kiran has to remain at home just to avoid any emergency situation, but now she has help from her children too as her eldest daughter is now 15 years old now. 

        Kiran is quite smart in all the home related decisions, hence she thought of an idea of creating a small activity center for old people in the town, without compromising on her home responsibilities. She had some savings and applied for a small loan from the bank, which got approved eventually. Next, she rented a small house, cleaned her and turned into an activity center, where old people of her town could visit anytime of the day, could play any indoor game, watch TV, read books or magazines, use computer if they know it, or prefer to learn something new from the young volunteers of school and college. 

Holistic Women

      All these women are playing extremely vital roles in their own respective lives. They are successful in their own ways and well respected by their family, society and their culture. Each women possess unique abilities and skills, its just matter of discovering our inner potential. We must keep looking for opportunities suitable for our own environment and living style. We all need to believe in ourselves to achieve in life. Life is quite big and has lot to offer us everyday and every minute, its up to us how we take best advantage of it. 

      Keep exploring and discovering your hidden potential to become more integral women of today. Happy and well deserved international women day and everyday to you all.  

Role Modeling: Children and Role Models

Who is a Role Model?

A role model is a person whose serves as an example by influencing others. For many children, the most important role models are their parents and caregivers. Children look up to a variety of role models to help shape how they behave in school, relationships or when making difficult decisions. Children also look up to other relatives, teachers and peers. Children may try to copy the behavior and appearance of celebrities, such as athletes and entertainers, and characters from books, TV, movies and video games.

Why do we need role models?

Role models provide inspiration and support when needed, and they provide examples of how to live a fulfilling, happy life. When observing behavior, decisions or actions of a role model, individuals learn how to display positive personality characteristics and moral traits. 

A group of young girls when asked about why do we all need role models, this was their response. 

Positive Role Modeling

Some parents may want to help their children choose positive role models. Here are some helpful suggestions for discussing role models with your child and for serving as a positive role model for your child:

• Have your child identify what qualities he admires in his role model
• Give examples of people in your community who you feel have positive qualities and are a good influence on others
• Talk about people you look up to for guidance and inspiration 

Negative Role Modeling

Negative role models, however, may also influence children. Sometimes widely admired public figures can make poor personal choices. Young children may assume that the behaviors of negative role models are typical, safe and acceptable. Parents and caregivers can intervene by emphasizing that role models who embrace inappropriate behavior, violence, sexuality, race and gender stereotypes, and drug and alcohol abuse are not acceptable.

Some suggestions to help you talk to your child about role models who have made mistakes are:

• Remind your child that all people have good and bad qualities and that anyone can make a mistake. Explain that it is important to apologize, accept our mistakes and learn a lesson from each mistake.
• Ask your child what he thinks of the role model’s behavior
• Ask what he would have done differently in the situation
• Give example of more positive and healthy ways to handle the situation

If you have concerns that your child is being negatively influenced by his role model, work with your child to identify more appropriate role models.

• Encourage your child to become involved in activities that reflect your values, such as religious programs, athletics, after school programs, clubs and volunteering.
• Remind your child that he or she does not have to do everything that the role model does. Your child can copy what he or she likes but still be him or herself.
• Give examples of people in your community who you feel have positive qualities and are a good influence on others.

Source: American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry 2012. 

Modern Dilemma of Role Modeling

Modern dilemma of role modeling particularly for our youth is that we are unaware about choosing the right or good role models for us. It might not be wrong to say here that our young generation does not have any real Muslim role models to follow in their life. 

The question arises than what kind of role models they have?

The kind of role models they have are:

- TV or film actors or actresses (celebrities whom they call them)

- basket ball, football or cricket players

- rich people 

- some even have gangsters (bad guys) as their role models

Hence, it seems our young generation is confused and unclear about choosing the right and real role models to follow in their life, because they are unable to find the really honest, loyal, caring and sincere people around them in their life. 

Majority of children do not even consider their parents as their role models. 

Teacher as a Role Model

Some effective teachers are worthy of being excellent role models for their students. Hence, teachers must use their professional integrity, their motivational zeal, and their guidance skills to present themselves as valuable role models. Here's a video to get an idea:

So choose your mentors, guides and counselors wisely. 

Active Listening: A Skill To Standout

What is Active Listening?

        Active listening is a technique that is used in counseling, training, and solving conflicts and disputes, plus our day to day problems.  

        It requires that the listener should fully concentrate, comprehend and respond and remember what is being said. This is opposed to other listening techniques like reflective listening and empathetic listening. Wikipedia. 

The Art of Active Listening

Why we need to be active listeners?

Active listening is a very powerful communication method. It makes you fully understand other person and brings people closer to each other. It needs time and patience but its benefits are priceless.

Source: Optimal Lifestyle

How to become active listeners?

Source: HeartlinesSA

Online Learner and Learning: A Need For Change

Learning is an innate human desire. Learning never ends, rather it is a life long process similar to the process of human development. We strive throughout our life to explore, and discover new opportunities of learning for us. Living in digital age is certainly beginning of new era, hence brings new opportunities and challenges with it too.

             One of the phenomenal change has been brought due to internet, leading to global impact due to the use of technology even in our daily lives. Social media communication, and interaction is another milestone added to this phenomenal change in human communication and correspondence. Moreover, the use of mobile phones, tablets and other devices designed and created to use technology even for our simple tasks in our daily life routines has an unbelievable impact on our industry whether business, education, health, food, manufacturing or service. 

           Educational technology has a valuable impact on teaching and learning phenomena too. Due to online teaching and training services available even free of cost has jolted each learner sitting even at a remote location on the planet. More and more people irrespective of their age, ethnic background, professional and personal level are joining programs and courses to learn without leaving the comfort of their homes or office environments. Therefore, online learning is becoming a popular and fastest growing trend to attract learners to become part of E-learning industry whether as a learner or as an instructor. 

            However, learning and teaching online requires a whole different skill set to able to successfully exploit it to our best advantage. Generally, an online learner assumes himself/herself to behave and proceed in similar manner as he/she does in any face-to-face learning environment, however the story is quite different in electronic or E-learning environment. An online learner has to deal with a whole bunch of new technologies, no face-to-face interaction with peers and instructor, etc and no campus building, no physical library, no cafeteria, nor any physical support service offices. Hence, sometimes these experiences become quite overwhelming for an E-learner. 

          

       

Similarly, an online instructor has to go through quite similar type of challenges at his/her end too. An online teacher has to design, create, and plan online lessons, deal with high profile technology tools, learning management systems, and similar other challenges to make his/her online course a success. It becomes an over whelming experience for an online instructor as well.

           Although, there has been an extensive research in higher education about E-learning industry, course designing, technology tools required to create engaging content, adding variety and creativity to learning management systems and their selling to their respective clientele. Contrarily speaking, there has not been much research done about how to guide an online learner to become successful while taking the online study format, which is a totally new experience for him/her. 

          An online learner does not necessarily has to perform in a similar fashion just like a student physically attending a school/college/ university. Primarily, an online learning is meant to be a self-directed method of study. It is 100% self-paced, requires executive functioning skills including but not limited to ( planning, organizational skills, regulating emotions, paying attention, self-monitoring, time management, decision making etc). Hence, usually online learners drop out of classes in the first two weeks of their courses, unable to succeed and perform, cannot meet deadlines etc. 

         

         Following steps would help improve the online learning experience for the learner and instructor an advantageous opportunity.

• Educational institutions offering online programs for learners must conduct an initial training program/classes for student guidance about how to take the best advantage of their online classes. 
• There has to be a minimum criteria for student selection to enroll in an online class, this would enable the department to analyze the fundamentals of each learner interested. 
• Teaching and training departments must design separate courses/programs for synchronous and asynchronous learning environments, because majority of online learners are professionals and already in full time jobs, hence they are unable to manage the similar study work load like a student attending on campus classes. 
• Online instructors should be provided initial training opportunities before taking up the responsibility of online teaching and training. 

         Higher education has been revolutionized due to E-learning, hence they are making tiresome efforts to create impacting E-learning courses for their learners to compete in the competitive industry in the era of globalization. All those who have chosen to become part of E-learning industry whether as a learner or an instructor are at a cutting edge advantage of becoming change agents of global economy as leaders of tomorrow. 

Marriage: A Fortune in Disguise

           

Marriage has always been considered a sacred relationship of love and care among all cultures, religions, and societies since the creation of human beings on this planet. Although, marriages take place according to their culture, societal norms, traditions,  value system, faith and religious beliefs. Therefore, the procedures and laws of getting married vary a lot. 

The other most vital dimension worth mentioning here is that marriage pattern differs for those who are not living in their own culture or society, rather settled in different countries due to work or family responsibilities.

Tariq belongs to a decent and educated family. He is raised with good moral values. As soon as he has settled in his career he requested his parents to start looking for an appropriate life partner for him. His parents became happy, however they suggested Tariq to also start looking himself for a suitable match, according to his requirements. Hence, the search started.

                   Tariq and his family went to meet different girl families, but the results were unexpected, rather beyond imagination. Few girls proudly announced that they are have no idea about doing anything in the kitchen, nor interested in participating any household chores either considered as part of everyday life irrespective of genders. Some girls even refused to meet or show up, rest clearly indicated that they prefer career instead of getting married. Hence, all efforts went in vain, no success at all.

                     Tariq decided to expand his search and use social media sites too. Most of the social media sites turned out to be just as dating sites. Tariq was not interested in dating rather he was interested in marriage. However, he didn't lose hope, and relentlessly struggled.

                   

Marriage is considered vital relationship in life. Hence, choosing right life partner is certainly a challenge. Modern trends are substantially different. Both the genders are facing crucial problems finding the right life partner. Various marriage bureaus, matrimony sites and similar such avenues are open to look for partners, but still its a challenge. Online match making seems easier and convenient to some extent, but there are always chances of scam. Sometimes online match making sites have ended up candidates into dangerous situations as well as consequences. Therefore, online match making cannot be considered 100% reliable and trustworthy for this purpose.

Undoubtedly, relationship carries perplexity with it as always. Usually, candidates remain unsure about their partner, hence unable to develop and acquire mutual trust in their relationships. Therefore, lots of marriages end up in separation, and can even lead to divorce within no time.

                    Marital relationship means shared responsibility, mutual respect and understanding, mental compatibility and protecting each others integrity in difficult times. However, there is not much educational services available for both genders who are ready and willing to get married. Appropriate marriage & relationship counseling services is need of the hour to help, support and guide prospective husband and wife. Additionally, training of teenage boys and girls about the concept of marriage, about the responsibilities that come along with this particular relationship and also developing awareness about the gruesome consequences of dysfunctional marriages.

                         

Marriage means a sacred bond, a contract between husband and wife. Parental role is vital to guide and counsel their children about this sacred relationship, as well as educational institutions should also play their role in educating young generation about the role and importance of marriage in the life of a child and our next generations, because marriage forms the nucleus of human society and culture. Parents must become role models for their children and show a healthy marital relationship to their children, that could help build their children's trust for marriage. Problems should be discussed behind closed doors to avoid misconceptions and confusions in the mind of young children consequently breaking their trust.

                        A healthy and strong family is the backbone of every society, so its the responsibility of each one of us to build a healthy living society full of mutual trust and care for each other in and out of marriage.

                       

Smart Skills: Thinking Smartly

Thinking
Humans are thinking creatures as compared to other living organisms on this planet. Our thinking help us to stand out among others. Therefore, thinking skills are not only unique at their core, but also vary in levels among human souls. Each one of us is gifted with our own thinking capacity and level.

Thinking Smartly
Smart is a widely known term for all of us. Currently, we are using 'SMART' in reference to people who are able to think creatively and apply their creativity every day to make smart choices and take smart decisions in life.

Apparently, smart thinking is the most highly desired phenomenon in digital age environment. A person who can think and apply using his intellect, imaginative power, and creative thinking skills to any situation, he or she is considered the most expensive person in 21st century.

Role of Education in developing smart thinking skills

As humans we all possess brains to think, but unfortunately majority of the population possess average level of thinking power. Usually, large number of population is not aware of raising their thinking capacity, nor interested to ponder and understand this phenomenon.

Education is the only medium which possess the capacity to transform even a below average thinker into an enlightened thinking mind. However, this requires lot of effort, plus an effective well designed  educational system to efficiently produce critical and creative thinkers.

Presently, education systems around the world are competing from elementary to tertiary education level to produce such thinking minds possessing 'smart skills' to cater the contemporary needs of digital age.

Apparently, most of the educational systems have failed substantially to fulfill this dire need of the hour, because their systems are merely focusing on short term market/business requirements and targeting money generating thinkers only. They are unable to produce autonomous, empowered and enlightened leaders, creators, and inventors.

How to produce 'smart thinking' minds?
Thinking is a skill as well as an art. Smart thinking stimulates us to make smart choices and smart decisions. Smart thinking means to foresee the future to take precautionary measures at the right time. Tap the potential opportunities, and overcome the upcoming challenges. Plan, execute, and follow appropriate steps to reach the desired goals.

Such smart thinking minds can only be produced if we focus and target providing appropriate developmental opportunities to each individual according to their interests, capacities, and help them decide and make choices for themselves at the right time. At an early age, children should be given an opportunity to participate in decision making at family level, and elders must acknowledge their decisions, with appropriate guidance. Provide a healthy, ethical relationship environment to share, discuss, and understand each others needs.

Once a child reaches teenage, they should be entrusted with responsibilities inside and outside their family, and must be rewarded accordingly on completion. This helps boost their confidence, trust, and empowers them to think not only for themselves but for others around them as well. Such healthy steps would facilitate leadership skills in them. It would also promote independent thinking and decision making skills in them, rather becoming followers turning blind eye to reality and truth.

Role of parents in developing 'smart thinkers'
Parental guidance, and their role can play vital role in this endeavor. Parents must try their level best to not only love their children but try to understand their changing needs in the ever changing environment, but also help, support, facilitate, and create such opportunities for their children that could improve their mental capacities in diversified dimensions.

This can only be achieved if parents should trust, accept and treat each other respectfully. Love and care for each particularly in tough times, and discuss their differences behind closed doors only. Children always watch and see how their parents behave and treat each other, this impacts their personality the most.

Finally, I would add that geniuses and leaders are not born, rather they are transformed and developed through timely efforts, persistence, determination to achieve, passion to lead, and perform at their best not only for themselves but for society.