Life is a Pattern

Life moves on in the form of patterns, and due to these patterns ups and downs occur in our life.

Usually, human beings keep on looking for perfect situations and lifestyles to achieve all the comforts in life, which can never be attained as this life is not made for perfection because we are not made for perfection rather we are created to make mistakes. 

Unfortunately, majority of the human beings don’t accept their mistakes and don’t learn a lesson from their mistakes. Most intelligent is the one who accepts his/her mistake as soon as possible and correct it and avoid repeating that mistake. 

If we have an issue in life and it persists with our life it means that it might remain part of our life and we try to accept to live with that weakness. If a person tries to reach out for perfection in life e.g. perfect life partner, perfect car, perfect house, perfect marriage, perfect living, perfect job, perfect business etc it’s never achievable because it doesn’t exist, it’s simply an illusion. 

Living and understanding these small weak areas in our life and trying to cope with them intelligently is the real essence of living a true life because all of us have those weaknesses and problems in our lives. This universe is created for this purpose that we have to keep our dependency on each other in order to let the system of this universe work successfully otherwise it’s just not possible.

Consequently, remaining content and satisfied with what we have and consider life a blessing is in itself a blessing for our hearts and mind. This brings us into the real practical world which has to be lived is no doubt treacherous in nature and demands extreme level of determination and commitment from each one of us. 

However, offering immense amount of opportunities to each individual to grow, develop and learn through diversifying experiences throughout life. Finally, the choice and decision lies very much with us how we take advantage of this greatest opportunity i.e. life itself. LIFE IS IN OUR OWN HANDS!

The Feminine Zeal

Female owns the privilege & honor of symbolizing the beauty among all other creations in this universe. While the opposite gender is suppose to remain in the role of provider for her and take care of her dignity by remaining committed to this role for the rest of his life.

 Feminine integrity is integrated with motherhood as its first priority in her life. Becoming a mother has always been embedded at the core of every woman’s heart since her birth. Motherhood is always an inspiring role for her and she aspires to be a complete woman by bearing & rearing children.

 Birth of a girl child although disliked and discouraged in our culture due to illiteracy and conservative mindsets among male dominated societal norms. However, our religion Islam has always discouraged such traditions. Conversely, Islam has always held woman in high prestige and given enormous rights to her to live a comfortable, secure as well as a free decision maker about her life. She has been given complete freedom of speech, right of inheritance, right of choosing her life partner etc.

 Without woman none of the human being would have been enjoying and using privilege of this wonderful life experience. We are all proud of our great mothers who have struggled with courage and hope to provide for us in her best possible way at the same time she keeps ignoring her own priorities and comforts. ALL THE HATS OFF TO OUR MOTHERS,WE ARE PROUD OF YOU MOM!

 Daughter is second valuable figure in the family; she keeps on supporting & helping her parents with equal zeal and sympathy throughout her life. Even after her marriage she keeps track of all the ups and downs in her parent’s lives. At the same time she is taking care of her own family and her in laws. A daughter & mother relationship is one of the closest and they both depend upon each other for sharing their life experiences. This creates a strong bonding between both of them.

 The sister at home cannot be ignored as she is one of the pivotal role players among the other family members. Life in home revolves around her. She not only maintains a dignity in the house among her brothers but at the same time she creates a lively atmosphere in the house. Girls have always been lively figures their clothes, their jewelry, their little tit bits always keep their mother on her toes. When father comes home she is always ready to give her warmth to him by taking care of his shoes, briefcase, offering him a glass of water etc.

 This creates a picture of a unique figure in our minds. Woman is at the same time playing many crucial and challenging roles. A wife turning into a mother, giving birth to a daughter and she is at the same time also a sister of her brother/s. The whole life revolves around her and she is usually ignored by all the rest of the figures around her. She silently keeps on contributing for her family but her own value and importance is neglected. She alone bears all the pain, suffering, and hardships brought to her before and after her marriage.

 Our mothers, daughters, sisters, wives and many other such roles including her professional role towards society which she is also committed with her husband to help him out in managing household expenses to share the economic responsibility as well is no doubt a rewarding effort on the part of a woman. Many young educated and uneducated girls in our society are also contributing their income to share their father economic burden today. Putting her dignity at stake she goes out to earn something which can help his brother and father in running expenses. All such efforts of a woman are usually never acknowledged and highlighted by our society which is dilemma and a sad affair.

 Her feminine zeal makes us believe that her existence must be valued and her efforts must be acknowledged in order to sustain our own existence. Woman is an integral part of our life and she holds the responsibility of the most delicate task in life that is child rearing and turning him/her into a valuable human being.

 As a whole we all need to create an environment inside our homes and outside where a woman is given same prestige, dignity, value and empowering opportunities to perform. Her efforts are encouraged and acknowledged by society at large and all those who depend upon her for survival. Her right for inheritance must be implemented by our judicial system. Her right of education and health must be established locally and internationally. A working woman must be provided with benefits of maternity leave, specially designed health insurance plans to cover any major illness.

 The feminine zeal necessitates and throws a challenge to our orthodox norms at large which need modifications according to new millennium where new horizon is open for a woman to capture opportunities of her own choice and move freely with equal dignity, security and honor among her fellow beings.

Marriage Perplexity

Since the creation of human being on the face of this earth, both the genders have remained a complex being for the opposite one.

Human beings, irrespective of their gender, have to go through various and complex phases of development to enable them to reach adulthood. Once they attain an age, their identity crisis keeps them thinking about their future life partners. Our past experiences enable us to determine our future prospects in relationships.

The most important relationship in the life of a human being is marriage. We all get excited when we hear about our life partner. During our teenage we start thinking about love, romance, and beautiful and great life partner. As we attain maturity, we all want to turn this dream of marriage into a reality to acquire happiness and have kids.

Unfortunately, as we probe into the marriages, variety of complexities prevails. Both the partners have a long list of complaints for each other and they are constantly blaming each other to make their life miserable.

Here, the question arises; why this beautiful dream of marriage has turned into a bitter reality? Why partners are unhappy with each other? If they are unhappy with each other than why they got married in the first place? Which partner is taking relationship for granted? Who is suffering and how? What is the solution of this problem? Etc.

Firstly, there is no formula solution to relationship issues, we need to identify the causes and devise solutions with mutual consent but sometimes problems become more gruesome and ends up in divorce as well.

Marriage paradox is quite different in different parts of the world, the issues in the west are not the same in the east because the reasons and cultural differences exist and play vital role in determining our marital patterns. In the east, usually arranged marriages take place. Both the partners are total strangers for each other before marriage. Love marriages ratio is very small and usually discouraged by the eastern society.

Keeping in view our own context, research has shown that marital perplexities depend largely on the brought up style of both the partners, because both partners belong to very different family backgrounds. If husband belongs to a rich family and wife belongs to a middle class family, obviously their life perceptions could be extremely different to each other or vice versa. Primarily, compatibility depends largely on compromise and tolerance by both partners. If anyone of the partner is not willing to compromise or tolerate, life complicates.

Some couples being educated individuals try to understand each other to some extent and goes on living with each other for the sake of the happiness of their children.

These marital perplexities vary among social classes in our society. The rich class has its own type of marital issues, high middle class, lower middle class and the poor have very different nature of issues in their marriages.

Lets consider the upper middle and the educated class of our society, the marital paradox is not only of acute nature but rather hidden and surprising in its nature so far because people avoid discussing their marital problems with each other especially male members of society. Nor individuals find any platforms or networks which would provide them any such counseling services, therefore the problem persists and both partners keep on suffering at their ends.

I have taken up this risk of highlighting this sensitive social issue just to enable our educated class to understand and enable them to overcome some of the problem to some extent if possible before situation gets out of control.

What actually happens? Let’s discuss the reality and face it with open eyes in order to rise to the occasion and find our inner contentment and self satisfaction.

As a couple gets married, both enjoy their early years of marriage in majority cases. Practically, they both remain busy in raising kids, keep on struggling to groom them and provide them a comfortable life in early years of their marriage.

By the time kids are grown up and reach to their teens, each partner realizes that I have no chemistry with my life partner as no mental, emotional and/or emotional understanding result in loss of feeling of love for each other in hearts.

This makes both the partners unhappy with each other and turns this unhappiness into a constant suffering on both ends but it’s already too late to take any decision. The overall picture which both shows to others is that both of them are quite happy together but in reality they are not.

A woman is unable to take any step further just to avoid her financial insecurity and man avoids keeping the life of his children comfortable by keeping the family intact.

Women in eastern culture are unfortunately not given opportunities nor empowered to make their decisions on their own especially the most important decision of their life i.e. marriage. On the other hand, men also have to fulfill their family demands and have to marry a woman of family’s choice not of his own choice. 

Consequently, both the partners suffer as the foundation of marriage is laid not on choices rather family, cultural, egoistic and unreasonable mind sets of family systems.

Both partners facing the consequences usually get tired and try to find the solution of their problem somewhere else. This results in extra marital affairs, sex out of wedlock and many such activities to satisfy their emotional needs and loneliness.

Media and technology has indeed made this task very easy for both the genders. Unfortunately, the ultimate suffering ends up at children who are totally innocent. Still the reality doesn’t change even if we turn our heads away from it.

To overcome these issues certain steps can be taken by the media and social sectors.

Firstly, by providing education about marriage and its responsibilities at an early age to kids is extremely necessary by the parents.

Secondly, youth must be given guideline and providing such platforms where such problems are addressed.

Thirdly, post marital counseling and networking opportunities for both the genders must be created and made accessible online too.

Human being is a complex creation and therefore suffers from complex and delicate problems but unfortunately materialistic trends do not allow people to understand and realize how gruesome could be the circumstances if such emotional issues are ignored over a long period of time. They definitely need to be addressed and highlighted to find their solutions.

Am I a Professional?

Professionalism seems to be a simple & easy going attitude at our workplaces for our youth. Despite its being imperative for individuals working at different organizations, institutions & companies we consider professionalism as something acquired automatically during our course of study at our colleges/universities. 

The reality is quite different from this assumption. Students unfortunately do not understand & realize the intricacies in becoming a professional in the real sense especially in practical life.

Working & earning as an independent individual & contributing for one’s family is an obsession which each one of us carries during our course of study. Coming out of our educational settings with enthusiasm, urge & energy to serve keeps all of us on our toes to look for the right kind of job.

Being a student we never realize & perceive that life is extremely treacherous & benefiting at the same time. It depends on our own sense of judgment & hope that we acquire & achieve whatever we wish or visualize.

We leave our educational institutions & enter into pragmatism with high hopes, energy, enthusiasm, honor & dignity with enlightenment in our eyes & heart to serve & achieve. We are all passionate to lead, manage, persuade and communicate for our acknowledgement as a professional.

We make ourselves ready for the interview day like anything. A quick shower, best dress, best perfume, little makeup etc & you are on your way to perform. You reach there in time as you have already worked out the distance & time taken to be there to avoid being late. You have been asked to wait for your turn as other candidates are also in line.

Finally you are being called to appear for an interview. You are being tested on your diversified skills & competencies through various questions. You being smart & intelligent responded appropriately & qualified for the job. Your selection has given you a sense of achievement & motivation to reach the optimum level of excellence within no time. You now have the opportunity to prove yourself as a professional devotedly.

It’s your first day at work & you took charge of your duties & responsibilities with great fervor. One day you were not feeling well & you didn’t reach office in time, as you reach office after two hours delay you resume your work quietly & thought you are not being noticed & you carried on with your work.

Next morning you again felt bad in stomach, headache or temperature you were unable to reach office therefore you preferred to stay home & take rest. Next day you reach office, everybody among your colleagues asked about your absence from duty & you described your illness. You didn’t report anything to your boss as you are scared of being caught.

Your boss called you in his/her office & asked about your absence, you repeated the same story but there was just an intimation of remaining careful in future from your boss. He offered you a cup of tea & you thought what a pleasant personality he/she is who is so compassionate & kind to you.

Days, weeks & months go by & you carried on with your work. One day you received a call from another job & you responded positively. You have to appear for another interview during your working hours therefore you requested for a break. You didn't tell anyone about your new opportunity at other place & you went on for it. You got selected there too but now you are confused whether to keep the previous job or take up the new one. Finally you reached a decision to take up the new challenge & explore it. Now the issue which stands in front of you is what to do with my previous employer? How to tell him that I’m leaving? What should I say? Which excuse is the most appropriate one?

You stopped going to your previous job & joined at the new one. Your new job although paying more but requires more working hours & higher level of accountability as well, which makes you uncomfortable sometimes. This frequency of accountability rises with the period of time. Now you start remembering your previous job which used to give you more autonomy & empowerment as you were the in charge of your department.

Your days & nights become restless & stress grows with every passing minute. You received calls from your previous employer asking about your absence from work but you didn’t respond to his phone calls. Eventually you are fired from the previous job by being irresponsible.

One day one of your colleagues at your previous job came to visit you & inquired gently about your absence from the job. The first thought which came to your mind was to create a fictitious story but ultimately you realized that there’s no use of lying. Eventually you narrated the whole event positively & honestly to your friend. He suggested few points to ponder as he considers you as a fresh person in job.

He gave few examples from his own work experience & narrated how he has to pay the price of losing both the jobs at the same time when his present employer inquired about his track record from the previous one. Such type of attitudes & behaviors are considered as unprofessional by every employer.

There are many among you who are very well qualified, trained & skilled but unfortunately due to lack of professional attitude towards their work they tend to lose their dignity & honor at their workplace and sometimes have to pay the price in the form of losing a good job as well.

I would like to suggest few ways of becoming a successful professional in your future:

Learn a lesson from each & every mistake you make

Take permission from your senior before going for any kind of leave

Use the method of communication & discussion before taking any action

Inform your heads even if you are coming late

Develop the habit of writing an application for any kind of incentive you want to acquire

Avoid mixing your personal relationships with your professional commitments at workplace as it spoils your reputation.

Avoid procrastination as much as you can

Try to remain organized and planned for your tasks

Always be polite, compassionate, kind but firm at the same time to be a successful professional.

These are just few experiences to share but there are many more too. I hope the above mentioned suggestions would definitely help fresh professionals to be successful ones at their workplaces whether belonging to corporate sector or non corporate sector.

Professionalism is not a trait which can be learnt overnight rather it need to be practiced at our daily routine tasks which is the only method of turning us into prosperous & thriving professionals of contemporary era.

My Rejuvenation

The blessed souls of human kind are exceptionally divergent towards their surroundings and situations. Certainly and usually environments never seem to be idealistic for performers but they track out their ways to prove their worth. Perceptions of achievement and success seems unfavorable to us in our daily lives but life never pauses to provide opportunities for survival and triumph.

 The road to success has always been full of surprises, hopes, dreams, failures and despair. Self motivated souls keep their heads high to follow the track of success with trust and commitment inside their hearts and minds to reach their destination one day or the other as they are convinced to be the winners of tomorrow.

Human beings are blessed ones by birth among all other variety of creations but sometimes we do not carry out our roles proficiently. Identification and awareness about our competencies, capacities, skills and capabilities enhances our confidence to prove our natural superiority over other species.

Self control, patience, perseverance, and tolerance are the tools required to lead and manage the obstructions coming along persistently towards us with every passing second of our life time.

 Knowledge and education help wide open our minds and hearts, to our environmental problems and provokes our motivational forces to act intentionally for change.

 The change agents of our society are not worthless pupils; they are internationally well acquainted to the global issues and keep themselves primed for challenges of information age.

The rejuvenation lies very much inside our souls and thinking patterns, which can enlighten other such souls who are in despair and have lost their hope to live a life of enthusiastic performer.

The secret of rejuvenation fundamentally comprised of sharing smiles, motivating hearts, positive thinking, and mentoring, guiding and counseling and above all understanding one’s own self drives.

Few are those who rejuvenate their own life patterns but the illumination of their rejuvenation reaches to millions far and wide and every nook and corner of this planet.

 Te be rejuvenated try out these simple tips yourself and keep sharing with others in your contact to promote rejuvenation.

 Get yourself focused on your goals in life, live for a purpose, keep striving for excellence, avoid procrastination, be a visionary and hold yourself to your vision, don't let your feelings get in your way, be consistent in your performance wherever you may be and be passionate for positive change.

You might comprehend from these leading forces as unusual, unpractical, bookish, philosophical dream like words but I have experienced these personally.

Your pathway is open for you & waiting for you to act. Develop your inner drive to be a consistent performer of this track of rejuvenation.