Role Modeling: Children and Role Models

Who is a Role Model?

A role model is a person whose serves as an example by influencing others. For many children, the most important role models are their parents and caregivers. Children look up to a variety of role models to help shape how they behave in school, relationships or when making difficult decisions. Children also look up to other relatives, teachers and peers. Children may try to copy the behavior and appearance of celebrities, such as athletes and entertainers, and characters from books, TV, movies and video games.

Why do we need role models?

Role models provide inspiration and support when needed, and they provide examples of how to live a fulfilling, happy life. When observing behavior, decisions or actions of a role model, individuals learn how to display positive personality characteristics and moral traits. 

A group of young girls when asked about why do we all need role models, this was their response. 

Positive Role Modeling

Some parents may want to help their children choose positive role models. Here are some helpful suggestions for discussing role models with your child and for serving as a positive role model for your child:

• Have your child identify what qualities he admires in his role model
• Give examples of people in your community who you feel have positive qualities and are a good influence on others
• Talk about people you look up to for guidance and inspiration 

Negative Role Modeling

Negative role models, however, may also influence children. Sometimes widely admired public figures can make poor personal choices. Young children may assume that the behaviors of negative role models are typical, safe and acceptable. Parents and caregivers can intervene by emphasizing that role models who embrace inappropriate behavior, violence, sexuality, race and gender stereotypes, and drug and alcohol abuse are not acceptable.

Some suggestions to help you talk to your child about role models who have made mistakes are:

• Remind your child that all people have good and bad qualities and that anyone can make a mistake. Explain that it is important to apologize, accept our mistakes and learn a lesson from each mistake.
• Ask your child what he thinks of the role model’s behavior
• Ask what he would have done differently in the situation
• Give example of more positive and healthy ways to handle the situation

If you have concerns that your child is being negatively influenced by his role model, work with your child to identify more appropriate role models.

• Encourage your child to become involved in activities that reflect your values, such as religious programs, athletics, after school programs, clubs and volunteering.
• Remind your child that he or she does not have to do everything that the role model does. Your child can copy what he or she likes but still be him or herself.
• Give examples of people in your community who you feel have positive qualities and are a good influence on others.

Source: American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry 2012. 

Modern Dilemma of Role Modeling

Modern dilemma of role modeling particularly for our youth is that we are unaware about choosing the right or good role models for us. It might not be wrong to say here that our young generation does not have any real Muslim role models to follow in their life. 

The question arises than what kind of role models they have?

The kind of role models they have are:

- TV or film actors or actresses (celebrities whom they call them)

- basket ball, football or cricket players

- rich people 

- some even have gangsters (bad guys) as their role models

Hence, it seems our young generation is confused and unclear about choosing the right and real role models to follow in their life, because they are unable to find the really honest, loyal, caring and sincere people around them in their life. 

Majority of children do not even consider their parents as their role models. 

Teacher as a Role Model

Some effective teachers are worthy of being excellent role models for their students. Hence, teachers must use their professional integrity, their motivational zeal, and their guidance skills to present themselves as valuable role models. Here's a video to get an idea:

So choose your mentors, guides and counselors wisely.